Saturday, August 28, 2010

So I hungout with a few hundred rednecks the other day

The title is slightly misleading but exciting, insulting and often provacative headlines get people to read your stuff. So ya.

But I did.  I went to the Mesquite rodeo for the first time Friday evening.  Despite living in Texas for handfulla years I have never done the typical Texan thing and seen a rodeo show or seen the fabled  think of "cowboy."

I have some family in town and when they think of Texas they cows, guns and rednecks.  The rodeo gave them two out of three and guns could have possibly been in a few of the pickups I saw outside. Shotgun little buddy.

Not neccesarily like this, but close

It started out pretty well.  The amazing smell of horse and cow manure, the clacking of shit kickers (cowboy boots), pretty ladys, annoying children and many more southern delicacies.

I now hate children again after a kid proceeded to kick my head after he got way to excited about a dumb rodeo clown.

After my family and I got situated the rodeo announcer (had no idea what that guy was saying) asked the croud to join him in a prayer to jesus christ.  Now I don't hate this idea but the way he led up to the prayer is what annoyed me.  He said, "we live in the greatest nation ya'll where we can practice any relgion blah blah blah blah now lets pray to the one true god jesus christ". What the ....

So not a great start for moi.

Anyway a few fellas did some bareback horse riding or whatever, which was pretty tight.  Only maybe two of em lasted the 8 seconds to get a score or whatever.  Like this other events continued to happen with cowboys mostly eating dust.  It was entertaing but you know it wasn't mind blowing. 

The rodeo clowns themselves are a joke (pun intended).  Mesquite rodeo is graced by a fella named Leesle Harris or some shade of redneck name. 

I <3 clowns. Not really I just wanted to say "<3"
He shelled out quite a few "oh my god my wife is so fat, ugly, dumb" jokes.  Got a couple giggles from the crowd but it was "ight".  My family could barely understand the announcer so when redneck Harris came out they were finished, and by that I mean Texans will forever be considered slow folk in their eyes. 

Oh well, I love texas. 

It got pretty entertaining when little kids had to hold on for dear life when they rode out on sheep. 

Those kids were freaked out and maybe 2 of em lasted 5 feet.

God bless the rodeo for that little piece of entertainment cause in a way I felt like it was pay back for the annoying child from earlier.

Overall, I'd say the rodeo is an entertaining one time thing that any person who lives in Texas must attend.  However it does nothing but push forward the stereotype that we are slow, republican rednecks. But I'll allow it cause it's southern culture and with everybody stressing change these days, it's good to see that some things never change, especially children.

If I offended any rednecks reading this.  Well I am terribly sorry that...phew that was close.  What I meant to say is that I don't give a ....
Sometimes Judge Judy really gets me.

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